Pensacola Max, North Florida’s famous weather forecasting Rottweiler, emerged for his morning constitutional today and failed to see his shadow. Popular lore supposes this indicates and early spring.
Conditions were cool and overcast as Max lifted a leg for his annual prediction. It’s the second year Max has performed the feat. In 2008, the 110 pound Rottie also failed to see his shadow — correctly forecasting a mild end to winter and early growing season. With a 100 percent track record of accuracy, gardeners in the Southeast can begin setting their plant beds with the assurance of warmer temperatures just ahead.
The canine prognosticator’s forecast is at odds with the less reliable Punxsutawney Phil, who saw his shadow this morning at the annual Pennsylvania observance. Of course, it’s well known that groundhogs are so stupid they must be poked with a stick and physically hauled from their dens by strangely dressed old men to perform their duties. Such coercion likely explains the worthlessness of their seasonal opinions.
In contrast, Pensacola Max enthusiastically raced out the back door for a lusty pee before running through the bushes and rolling in his favorite sandy hole. After ten minutes of weather observation and chasing squirrels, he retired indoors for a sloppy bowl of water and a doggie biscuit.